Monday, April 15, 2013

Self-Frustration Equals Self-Motivation

I went to my first audition in almost a year today. I had a blast. Did it go well? No... not really. Did it go terribly wrong? No... not really. It was the definition of an average audition. Reading went so-so... Singing was better than the last but not great. The dance segment though... That's where this story really begins.

I could probably tell you every move we need to do in the combination. That's not a lie, but it was SOOOOO FAST! Now, I am a big girl. You get me hopping and jumping all over that stage, and sometimes I fear it is going to fall down. I have participated in very difficult, very technical dance auditions. (I'm looking at you, West Side Story, with your Jerome Robbins choreography.) I was even cast in that production of WSS. I've danced with fire. I've pretty much ONLY been in musical my entire life. I call myself a "fancer" for a reason. I can fake the shit out of some dance routines. Other than the fact that it was so fast, I have NO IDEA how I fucked it up so badly.

Well, I got to sing after that, so that made me happy, but I ended up thinking about that dance audition throughout all of dinner. Dinner was not the best choice. My roommate, David, and I went out to eat, and I made some TERRIBLE calorie decisions. I was so mad at myself for not being able to keep up. It was pathetic. By the time we got home and I logged my meal into the diet tracker, as well as the dance into my activity tracker, I was livid.

So, what does one do when one is completely and utterly frustrated and disappointed at oneself? That's right! One packs up and heads to the gym.

Now, I haven't been on an elliptical since the first day I joined the gym. It kicked my ass. I barely lasted 5 minutes. That's not an exaggeration. I thought I was going to collapse right there. Today? It was the first place I went. I spent 15 minutes on it. I started out fast due to the frustation, but when sweat started getting into my eyes, I slowed down a little. It felt amazing to sweat that much.

I went straight from the elliptical to the bike. I spent 10 minutes on my usual 6-11 resistance track. I like to change it up every minute or so. It adds variation. Then, I spent one minute at a peak resistance of 20. My legs were burning so good.

After the bike, I moved over to do arms. Halfway through my arm routine I realized that I just did arms last night. So, if you see me try to pick up something heavy tomorrow and drop it, that's why. Stupid Sarah forgot that she had just done arms yesterday and did the again today. Oops!

I spent the last 5 minutes on the treadmill. I'm up to a speed of 3.5 now without feeling like I'm going to get flung off the thing. Progress! Maybe I'll make my April goal of jogging at least one quarter of a mile afterall.

So, that's today's story. A great lesson came from it. The more frustrated I am at myself for being so out of shape, the harder I work to get in shape.

Keep it Sassy,

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